Friday, August 22, 2014

What if the Game of Thrones characters had professional wrestling entrace music?

I've always envied professional wrestlers for one truly badass perk of their job...entrance music.  What if the characters in Westeros abandoned the announcement of their title(s) and employed modern musicians instead?  It would sound something like this (spoilers ahead)


Daenarys Targaryen "When a Fire Starts to Burn" by Disclosure


When those Dragons are grown, and they're blowing fire and terrorizing all of Westeros, then you'll know that Daenarys has brought "that attitude home."  We can assume, at least



Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish & Lord Varys "Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys


We the readers, and HBO viewers, know just how well Littlefinger and Varys have been pulling the strings all along.  While not exactly a tag team in the source material, both men demonstrate how they can sabotage the plans of the aristocratic houses with words and whispers.


Theon Greyjoy "Creep" by Stone Temple Pilots


"I'm half the man I used to be" just about sums it up right there.  The song has all the melancholy of grunge and post-torture Theon-ness and Creep almost rhymes with Reek...



Stannis Baratheon "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath


"Iron Man's" guitar riffs scream badass.  Stannis is the underappreciated rightful heir to the throne, and too little of the realm respect his claim, nor the prophetic view of the future revealed to him by Melisandre.



Margaery Tyrell "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry



Margaery has proven to be resourceful and capable in her rise to power and has emerged from Dark Horse status. The only question is how long her betrothed holder of the throne will actually be around...not so good of a track record there.

Quentyn Martell "Fire" by Jimi Hendrix...



He gets his wish to stand next to Daenarys' fire, just doesn't take her home to conquer Westeros together.  He also dies tragically young, like Jimi Hendrix.  Never try to steal someone else's dragons.  tsk tsk, Quentyn.


Joffrey "Baratheon" "Hail to the King" by Avenged Sevenfold



Has all the angst  befitting Joffrey and the hook reminds you to Hail the King and kneel the to the crown...because you certainly wouldn't instinctively do so to Joffrey "Baratheon," nor should you bow to Avenged Sevenfold when a band named Metallica exists (but I digress)


Robert Baratheon "Turn Down for What" by Lil Jon & DJ Snake



Turn down for getting gored by a boar, that's "what."  Right?  R.I.P. Party Animal Robert Baratheon



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